Washington DC, 11:00 EST, 1 April: Trump announces issuance of first ever Green Treasury bond to fund Mexico wall; claims wall will be "greener than green"

Washington DC, 1 April 2019: The White House today announced the issuance of the first ever US Green Treasury bond, with proceeds to be used to fund the building of the President’s Mexico Wall

President Trump tweeted “It’s going to be tremendous! We’re going to cover the whole thing in those solar panel things, and they'll power all the spotlights we’re going to use”.

He further tweeted “We’re even going to build in batteries from that electric car guy, Elon Mosque. Say, he isn’t muslim is he?”

The US Treasury is understood to be targeting a USD3 billion placement, with the proceeds allocated to a first portion of the new wall in Arizona.

The White House announcement also specified that only recycled timber and low-carbon cement would be used, and that windows through the wall would all be triple-glazed. A spokesperson denied rumours that the wall would also be washed green.

A leading US fund manager, unwilling to be named, said that “the bonds would be very challenging for many investors on ESG grounds. especially the social aspects”, but that “demand was so strong for green bonds” he expected a successful placement, "especially among pension funds in red states".

The CEO of international NGO Climate Bonds Initiative, Sean Kidney, when reached for comment, was at a loss for words until a distressed wailing of "Noooooooooo" was heard.

Further details can be found here.